5th month in Macau

hi there, it has been quite some times already..
i missed this blog, the place where i can talk whatever i want..

who cares about what others think about you, as long as you happy..
i always tell this to myself..
however, is it really true? i am not so sure now..

grow up already, unlike secondary school, think nothing and do nothing..
now? do what, think what also need to be careful..
some people may get hurt because of your words.. *oh wait.. i am not that powerful..

but thing is always out of control, not everything you can control..
or i should say not everything can be what you want them to be..
if really so, can i just give up and let go?? or stay strong and wait everything get over??

sometimes really feel like giving up and say ' i am done with this shit, just leave me alone '..
but can i really do that? again, grow up already, you cannot be so irresponsible, although no one ask you to do so..
there is no turning back once you say something out..
ever feel regret to tell something to someone?? yes, i always do.. thanks to my horoscope *stupid cancer.
always think that what if i say this instead of that?? will thing get better?? i doubt so..
it definitely will stuck in my head for some times before i actually forget about it..

finally done for 5th months in macau assignment..
cant wait to go home, especially after talking to my family (actual one and my brunch of 5 JYCG)..
seeing them make me feel sad and home sick.. really want to quit and just go home to see them..
what i did for this again? money? think again please.. 
what i am going through this now? it is because of my stupid decision last time..

people always say forget about the past, no one care what makes this happened..
people will always care how you solve this..
to solve this, i become someone i hated to be..
i really dont feel like doing it anymore..
any suggestion? i remember i said this before..
where are you when i needed you most?
just one suggestion, oh wait, or just one sentence ' i am here '..

i think i will cry if i ever see this again..

trying not to be pkp here..
or else, the whole post will be how la how la..

-pkp- 5months in macau~