矛盾

好久没有打了标题才打内容

这个问题最近才出现在我的脑海中
人总是会有矛盾，不管你在哪里，和谁在一起， 尽管只有你自己而已
因矛盾，因冲突，而发生了口角，这事再普通不过了 。
也因为这样，有时会觉得多一事，不如少一事。
如果没有损失，自己退一步也无妨。
但每个人都有自己的底线。
过了那个连自己都接受不了的线，会发生什么事，就不轮到你的来说话了。
怨天怨地，唯一能怨的就只有你自己了，千万别怨我， 因为是你自己找来的。

有时会在想，为什么要如此的好人。
会有什么回报？啊，不对，一直以来，付出不等于收获。
这道理我一直都明白，那我到底在做什么呢？滥好人一个。

这又回到了今天的标题 - 矛盾。
如果做好人是那么的不堪，那为什么这么辛苦？
但既然要做，就要做到底。
说到底，我就是在努力的做到不让自己后悔而已。
谁在管那个谁在说什么呢，对得起自己就好。

想太多，最后为难的，难过的就只有你而已。
要记得没有谁会可怜你的，就除了你亲人以外（至少我的是）。

每个星期到了这个时候，莫名的想家了。
明明早就习惯了，呵呵，开玩笑罢了。
已经等不及要回到那个温暖 的家。
那个我什么都不用烦恼的家。

来到外面生活，很多时候都要戴着面具做人。
真的很累，真的不想再这样下去。
为了生活， 可以做的就只有硬着头皮做下去。

也许再忙碌一些，会再好一些。
就没有多余的时间想太多的事了。
讲罢了，还不是每晚临睡前，想个不停。

好友们说的没错。
他们把我送了过来，多半的原因是要我学会独立，
面对那些我早该面对的人，事，物。
逃避是没有用的，干脆一点，把该做的都做了。
人嘛，最重要还是不要给自己留下太多遗憾。

啊，好矛盾。
明明自己是明白，但还是做不到。
到底需要跟谁谈过，还是要经历过什么事情才达到该有的境界。
不知道，没有答案。
还是垫高枕头，好好想想吧。
又是一个失眠的夜晚。 洗洗睡吧。

5th month in Macau

hi there, it has been quite some times already..
i missed this blog, the place where i can talk whatever i want..

who cares about what others think about you, as long as you happy..
i always tell this to myself..
however, is it really true? i am not so sure now..

grow up already, unlike secondary school, think nothing and do nothing..
now? do what, think what also need to be careful..
some people may get hurt because of your words.. *oh wait.. i am not that powerful..

but thing is always out of control, not everything you can control..
or i should say not everything can be what you want them to be..
if really so, can i just give up and let go?? or stay strong and wait everything get over??

sometimes really feel like giving up and say ' i am done with this shit, just leave me alone '..
but can i really do that? again, grow up already, you cannot be so irresponsible, although no one ask you to do so..
there is no turning back once you say something out..
ever feel regret to tell something to someone?? yes, i always do.. thanks to my horoscope *stupid cancer.
always think that what if i say this instead of that?? will thing get better?? i doubt so..
it definitely will stuck in my head for some times before i actually forget about it..

finally done for 5th months in macau assignment..
cant wait to go home, especially after talking to my family (actual one and my brunch of 5 JYCG)..
seeing them make me feel sad and home sick.. really want to quit and just go home to see them..
what i did for this again? money? think again please.. 
what i am going through this now? it is because of my stupid decision last time..

people always say forget about the past, no one care what makes this happened..
people will always care how you solve this..
to solve this, i become someone i hated to be..
i really dont feel like doing it anymore..
any suggestion? i remember i said this before..
where are you when i needed you most?
just one suggestion, oh wait, or just one sentence ' i am here '..

i think i will cry if i ever see this again..

trying not to be pkp here..
or else, the whole post will be how la how la..

-pkp- 5months in macau~